Meager Beginnings...

Despite my best efforts of procrastination, I have finally entered this online world of scribes to offer up my own views and experiences.

First, addressing the title: Tracing A Unique Path Within Ambiguous Chaos

This may sound quite negative at first. I mean, ambiguous chaos? Chaos alone is frightening, but a chaos that is ambiguous?! Oh dear! That is just what we need: chaos that cannot be positively identified as chaos! However, allow me to offer an alternate perspective. I say ambiguous chaos because when I evaluate the world around me I never quite arrive at a clear verdict. There are moments (for all of us i would argue) when the world seems to be just too much to handle. We get lost in the chaotic mass of events and people. We see the problems and see that they outweigh any effort that we could put forth. Sometimes, we all just feel...hopeless. However, there are also times when beauty and inspiration outweigh all that poses as chaos. We see compassion, miracles, kindness, order, and occasionally experience a fleeting moment of peace. These encounters keep me guessing! Hence...ambiguous chaos!
Also, you will note that I plan on tracing that path rather than finding or frantically searching for it. I firmly believe that we all are tracing our own unique paths all the time. We glide fairly gracefully through this unknown cloud of potential chaos. No, we cannot see where we are headed -- only what we have already traced. This is why we long to hold onto memories and relive what we have already traced. It is safe....we know that part of our path. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) there is no reverse in life. So, we push on. Over, around, and through whatever lies in our path.
Thrilling roller coaster ride? Terrifying uncontrolled flight through time? Mundane coasting through uninteresting territory?
Make what you will of it.

Second, the purpose: Why blog?
Short answer: Don't have a good reason. Mostly for my own benefit, I suppose.
I had planned to begin writing a blog to keep my loved ones posted on whatever my next big adventure was to be! But, again-->ambiguous chaos! Most of my plans fell through and I have settled down into a rather mundane, yet peaceful situation. (More on where I am and what happened to those exciting plans to come! Stay tuned!)
So, I decided that I would document my current, rather large undertaking: life.
My own personal dealings with grief, my heroic pursuit of happiness, my noble attempts to expand my mind, and every other event that I can play up with some fancy words!
This will be my outlet for self expression. I love to write. Assembling words in some order for the intended purpose of capturing everything that is running through my imagination and to try to document my perception of the world around.

However, this is quite enough for a first entry. I may have to adjust the title of this post if I keep writing!


Today, November 4th, 2008, is a great day to start something new. Election day. On this day, I share something in common with the entire nation: A strong feeling of unsureness and an eagerness to glimpse what the future holds.


Here we go...