You know how TV shows always end their season with a big cliff hanger? Someone dies, someone is pregnant, something big is revealed and.....you are left to get all the answers until the next season!! AHHH! I hate that!
Yet, that is exactly what I did with my last post. I explained in detail what I had planned to do after college, but completely left you wondering: "Wait, what is Jeremiah doing now?"
Fair question. Here it tis...
Life after CC
Immediately after graduation, I took about two weeks off. Most of my friends were still around for about a week or two. I slacked off, celebrated being free from the bonds of the grading system, and also celebrated a couple weddings. Very fun! Then, beginning in June, I went to work...at CC! I actually spent the summer working at CC (Help Desk) and at Josh n' John's Ice Cream. It was actually quite fun, but often tiring. Some days found me at the Help Desk 8am-5pm and then at Josh n' John's 6pm-1am!! Oh boy! I broke up this workaholic schedule with good times with friends who were around. Tuesday bowling, BBQs, movies, hiking, and road trips all became the norm. It was a good summer. A little surreal, but good. I especially loved the road trip that I took at the beginning of August. Went and checked out Vancouver, BC, with a really good friend! Such a fun trip! I could most definitely live in Vancouver! Found an amazing pie shop, a pub with my name (Jeremiah's Pub!), a 55-acre garden, some gorgeous mountains and forests, and a great beach to enjoy sunsets and bottles of wine! Awww...
Then, shortly after returning from Vancouver, I moved out of my C. Springs apartment and moved home. My parents live in a small mountain town called Rye. We're talking about 200 people in the actual town. Oh, and I definitely did not grow up here! So, I don't know anybody. Ugh.
However, it is good to be around my family again. I realized that I spent every summer after starting at CC working in C. Springs. I hadn't been home for more than 3 weeks (first Christmas break) since the summer after my high school graduation! Wow! So, the plan was to live and help out at home while I waited to hear from Americorps. Honestly, my family really appreciated having me around. My father runs his own home inspection business and will often have around 5 inspections a week. My brother is a high school senior and trying to get into CC. He is busier than you can believe! My mother, however, is running her own accounting business AND going back to school to finish up her degree! Jeez! So...there were things I could do. It has been nice to be up in the mountains. Lots of hiking and biking. Plus, all the wood chopping and work on our land makes me feel manly!
So, not too bad. Hang out. Keep busy until Americorps calls for me.
Yeah....well, you read the last post. You didn't? Really!? Well, check it out -- it is a great read. To sum it up, however, I am still waiting for Americorps and could be waiting until February!
Oh dear. Things up in this small, isolated town don't appear that fun anymore. I need something to occupy my time and put a little coin in my pockets! Solution?
Home Energy Audits -- Federal Weatherization Program
So, my father was contacted by this woman (Teri) who runs her own "company" that works with the Federal Weatherization Program and the Governor's Energy Office. Basically, it is a free service for qualifying home owners. A team (my father and myself) come into your home, make some inspections, and then give you tips to save energy and money. We may install CFL bulbs, programmable thermostats, low-flow shower heads, smoke alarm/CO detector, and clotheslines. Also, we inspect the home's water heater, furnace, refrigerator, and quantity of insulation. There is even a program above us that may replace energy wasting fridges and furnaces and install better insulation --- All Free! Very Cool! We also provide some educational materials to help people live smarter and more efficiently. All in the interest of lowering the amount of resources that we use.
We will be starting with families who are on some form of utility assistance and then move from there. I get paid to do this and it only takes about an hour per house. Very good deal!
So, this keeps me busy and helps me save up to replace my failing car....poor thing. She is on her last legs I fear... I would love to find a used hybrid of some sort. Oh well, keep dreaming! Speaking of dreaming...I am also helping to draw up the plans for the passive-solar house that my father wishes to build. Should be a really fun and energy-saving home! Concrete block construction, passive solar heating, wood burning stove back-up, and possibly some solar panels or wind turbines in the future. Yay! I can't wait to break ground! There is even talk of a wine cellar in the plans! ooohh...
So, there you have it. I am living at home, helping out around the house, doing home-energy audits, and helping to plan "The House". Not too bad! I still crave human interaction every-now-and-then and am longing to get out in the world, but I am dealing well! Thanks to a couple friends that allow me to impose on them and their busy lives, I make sure to have some fun and get a healthy dose of culture.
So, that is where i am.
Now, where could I go?
November 23, 2008
November 11, 2008
Best Laid Plans....
At this point I must fulfill my promise to explain what happened to those exciting plans that I had laid out for after CC. Thus far, I have shared ideas and cracked some jokes. However, if you are a loyal reader, then you deserve to understand and know me better. Really, I have been trying to avoid thinking about those plans. It is not pleasant to dwell on plans that, despite my best efforts, did not turn out as splendidly as I had hoped.
So...what did this college grad have planned for life? Let's go back to the start-->
April 2008 -- Senior Year of College
My Senior year was just like anyone's...well, at least several people I knew. I was doing great in my classes, enjoying my friends, loving life, and attempting to plan out what would happen after I graduated. However, I was more interested in massive road trips, wine tasting parties, and late-night talks over tea than in choosing a career path or even my next step. It was near the end of the year (April to be exact) that I was really forced to face the fact that I had no plans, no ideas, and no real guiding passion. I think between my parents nudging me and all my peers making plans, I started to get nervous. April was a rough month, for many reasons. Basically, I found myself constantly nervous and dreading the question that everyone I ran into was destined to ask: "So, what are you doing after college?" I could just feel the moment arriving. It did not sneak up on me. No, it attacked from the front just dripping with arrogance. It was almost as if I could see the words crawling off of my inquisitive friend's lips and shooting towards me like arrows. Unfortunately, I had no sword of "Career Path" or shield of "Defined Goals" to fend them off. It was rough.
Then, one snowy day in April found me having coffee with a good friend. She was telling me all about a project that she was working on for next year: A rather large service trip to aid impoverished farmers in India. Yes, this was impressive. Yet, what was more impressive was her passion. When she spoke about this project, her views on society, and just in general about her desire to serve others, there was so much passion. She knew exactly where she stood and what she held as crucial beliefs and goals. Frankly, it was hard not to be inspired.
Now, I did not just decide to take on her goals as my own. Rather, our short discussion was able to re-kindle some related passions that I had once held. I realized that I did not want to just jump into a career or more school. I had spent most of my life making sure to care for myself first. I had to do something that gave back. So, I looked into service opportunities through Americorps.
Now, there is one friend who also deserves some credit for helping me look into Americorps. Laura had been bugging me for quite some time to look into what was available. I really should have listened to her earlier! (Sorry! And thank you!) But, I researched and found a program that I liked. Then, in less than a month's time, I applied. Crazy fast!
NCCC - National Civilian Community Corps
The NCCC is a program that places 12 young adults (18-24) on a team, trains them in one of several US cities, and then deploys them around the US to complete service projects. NCCC teams must be requested by programs/groups and have project proposals. NCCC teams can perform all kinds of service activities: education, environmental work, community planning, physical labor, etc. I was told in my interview that 60% of current NCCC team's work is in the gulf area doing hurricane cleanup. They house, feed, insure, and pay (very small stipend!) the team members. It is a program where I would be doing a solid year of service, often working very long days. Perfect!
So I applied by the end of May. Here is where my crazy adventure with NCCC begins! I had lined up two jobs for the summer and still had a great apartment--no problems. Step one was figuring out the crazy online application. I have never seen an explanation of qualifications limited to 20 characters! Not fun, but I figured it out. Then I received an email message that thanked me for my application (yay!) and instructed me to call a number to schedule an interview. Step two. I called. Our conversation went something like....
It wasn't till the end of the summer that I received my acceptance letter. It had been mailed to my parents house (an hour drive away) and had been delayed. So, My parents received it on a Thursday and got a hold of me on Friday morning. The letter named me as an alternate for the fall cycle and had several forms that needed to be completed and returned by Monday...to Washington DC! So, I skipped work, raced to get the forms, raced back to fill out medical history forms and get fingerprinted, and then got them to FedEx just in time! What a hassle!
I was excited to be accepted, but just a little discouraged by the disorganization so far and by my alternate status. Being an alternate meant that if someone dropped out, I was in. However, they did not keep me posted and I just had to wait. I called them several times, but it was always "Keep waiting". The Fall Cycle of NCCC started Oct. 6th. Now you are probably making the connection between today's date and the fact that I am not writing about my travels with NCCC. Yep, no one dropped and (no surprise) I was not contacted. So I called again and finally (after several calls and hours on hold) got put in touch with the Selection and Placement Coordinator for NCCC. Yes! Just who I need!
She was very helpful, understood my situation, and apologized that I had apparently been "skipped over". She offered me a position with the Winter Cycle of NCCC...an alternate position. Well, I took it and now must wait until somebody potentially drops by February 2009. Yes, I am still waiting. After all the hoops that I jumped through, I only have two meager letters of acceptance to show for it. And...oh, what's this?! Both letters signed by the Selection and Placement Coordinators for NCCC. However, one signed by a Stuart and the other by a Tiffany! Things become clearer. Only mere months apart and it seems that this position has been in transition.
Whatever the cause for the disorganization, I am still waiting. I am hopeful that things will go well, but I may not hear anything until February 2009. It has been difficult to maintain my enthusiasm and determination for devoting a year of my life to this national service program. I am still eager to join a team and do what I can, but every day is a little battle to remain motivated. If nothing else, I have been provided with a meager shield for when those penetrating, questioning words are fired at me. I hear "So, what you doing now?" and I can respond by guarding myself with a shield, unsure as it may be, of dedication to a national service program.
So, bring on the fire-fight of inquisitive words. My shield of meager plans is at the ready. However, be warned that I am even now equipping myself with greater tools of future plans, lofty goals, and bright dreams.
Have at me.....
So...what did this college grad have planned for life? Let's go back to the start-->
April 2008 -- Senior Year of College
My Senior year was just like anyone's...well, at least several people I knew. I was doing great in my classes, enjoying my friends, loving life, and attempting to plan out what would happen after I graduated. However, I was more interested in massive road trips, wine tasting parties, and late-night talks over tea than in choosing a career path or even my next step. It was near the end of the year (April to be exact) that I was really forced to face the fact that I had no plans, no ideas, and no real guiding passion. I think between my parents nudging me and all my peers making plans, I started to get nervous. April was a rough month, for many reasons. Basically, I found myself constantly nervous and dreading the question that everyone I ran into was destined to ask: "So, what are you doing after college?" I could just feel the moment arriving. It did not sneak up on me. No, it attacked from the front just dripping with arrogance. It was almost as if I could see the words crawling off of my inquisitive friend's lips and shooting towards me like arrows. Unfortunately, I had no sword of "Career Path" or shield of "Defined Goals" to fend them off. It was rough.
Then, one snowy day in April found me having coffee with a good friend. She was telling me all about a project that she was working on for next year: A rather large service trip to aid impoverished farmers in India. Yes, this was impressive. Yet, what was more impressive was her passion. When she spoke about this project, her views on society, and just in general about her desire to serve others, there was so much passion. She knew exactly where she stood and what she held as crucial beliefs and goals. Frankly, it was hard not to be inspired.
Now, I did not just decide to take on her goals as my own. Rather, our short discussion was able to re-kindle some related passions that I had once held. I realized that I did not want to just jump into a career or more school. I had spent most of my life making sure to care for myself first. I had to do something that gave back. So, I looked into service opportunities through Americorps.
Now, there is one friend who also deserves some credit for helping me look into Americorps. Laura had been bugging me for quite some time to look into what was available. I really should have listened to her earlier! (Sorry! And thank you!) But, I researched and found a program that I liked. Then, in less than a month's time, I applied. Crazy fast!
NCCC - National Civilian Community Corps
The NCCC is a program that places 12 young adults (18-24) on a team, trains them in one of several US cities, and then deploys them around the US to complete service projects. NCCC teams must be requested by programs/groups and have project proposals. NCCC teams can perform all kinds of service activities: education, environmental work, community planning, physical labor, etc. I was told in my interview that 60% of current NCCC team's work is in the gulf area doing hurricane cleanup. They house, feed, insure, and pay (very small stipend!) the team members. It is a program where I would be doing a solid year of service, often working very long days. Perfect!
So I applied by the end of May. Here is where my crazy adventure with NCCC begins! I had lined up two jobs for the summer and still had a great apartment--no problems. Step one was figuring out the crazy online application. I have never seen an explanation of qualifications limited to 20 characters! Not fun, but I figured it out. Then I received an email message that thanked me for my application (yay!) and instructed me to call a number to schedule an interview. Step two. I called. Our conversation went something like....
ME: Hi, My name is Jeremiah and I applied for the Fall Cycle of the NCCC. I was calling to schedule my interview.Encouraging?! Well, I felt that maybe (just maybe!) that person I talked to was not well-informed. I emailed the support for the Americorps application process. They confirmed that I did need to wait for a packet and that the email I received was an automated error. Well, okay! Shortly there after, the packet arrived, I scheduled my interview, and then had my phone interview. Now, the interview went surprisingly well! I connected really well with the interviewer and felt great afterwards! Yay Progress! Now just a little waiting...
THEM: Oh, did you receive a packet in the mail?
ME: No, I received an email after I applied that instructed me to call.
THEM: Really? Huh! Well, yeah...you need to wait for a packet to come in the mail.
ME: Uh, are you sure?
THEM: Yeah, just wait for the packet.
ME: Okay. Um, thanks. Bye.
It wasn't till the end of the summer that I received my acceptance letter. It had been mailed to my parents house (an hour drive away) and had been delayed. So, My parents received it on a Thursday and got a hold of me on Friday morning. The letter named me as an alternate for the fall cycle and had several forms that needed to be completed and returned by Monday...to Washington DC! So, I skipped work, raced to get the forms, raced back to fill out medical history forms and get fingerprinted, and then got them to FedEx just in time! What a hassle!
I was excited to be accepted, but just a little discouraged by the disorganization so far and by my alternate status. Being an alternate meant that if someone dropped out, I was in. However, they did not keep me posted and I just had to wait. I called them several times, but it was always "Keep waiting". The Fall Cycle of NCCC started Oct. 6th. Now you are probably making the connection between today's date and the fact that I am not writing about my travels with NCCC. Yep, no one dropped and (no surprise) I was not contacted. So I called again and finally (after several calls and hours on hold) got put in touch with the Selection and Placement Coordinator for NCCC. Yes! Just who I need!
She was very helpful, understood my situation, and apologized that I had apparently been "skipped over". She offered me a position with the Winter Cycle of NCCC...an alternate position. Well, I took it and now must wait until somebody potentially drops by February 2009. Yes, I am still waiting. After all the hoops that I jumped through, I only have two meager letters of acceptance to show for it. And...oh, what's this?! Both letters signed by the Selection and Placement Coordinators for NCCC. However, one signed by a Stuart and the other by a Tiffany! Things become clearer. Only mere months apart and it seems that this position has been in transition.
Whatever the cause for the disorganization, I am still waiting. I am hopeful that things will go well, but I may not hear anything until February 2009. It has been difficult to maintain my enthusiasm and determination for devoting a year of my life to this national service program. I am still eager to join a team and do what I can, but every day is a little battle to remain motivated. If nothing else, I have been provided with a meager shield for when those penetrating, questioning words are fired at me. I hear "So, what you doing now?" and I can respond by guarding myself with a shield, unsure as it may be, of dedication to a national service program.
So, bring on the fire-fight of inquisitive words. My shield of meager plans is at the ready. However, be warned that I am even now equipping myself with greater tools of future plans, lofty goals, and bright dreams.
Have at me.....
November 5, 2008
Guy Fawkes Day
Happy Guy Fawkes Day! Oh, what's that? You don't know what that is? Really?! You should educate yourself. Dive into a book and read about it. Or if you prefer to broaden your horizons in a more entertaining manner, try watching V for Vendetta. Lovely film!
For those of you who have seen the film or are at least familiar with Guy Fawkes, here is the poem that recalls that November the 5th in 1605.
Remember, remember the Fifth of November
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot.
I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent
To blow up the King and Parliament.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England’s overthrow;
By God’s providence he was catch’d
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
Evey: Who are you?
V : Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey: Well I can see that.
V : Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
Evey: Oh, right.
V : But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace soubriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.
Voila! In view a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.
Evey: Are you like a crazy person?
V : I’m quite sure they will say so.
People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
Some shots from Halloween 2006. Viva la revolution!
November 4, 2008
A New United States
The lengthy and tiresome race for the White House is finally over. Barack Obama is the new President Elect. Wow! I must say that I am exhausted and worn out myself. I can hardly imagine how Obama, Biden, and their families are doing.
I am proud to say that I supported his candidacy and even volunteered for his campaign. I voted early nearly two weeks ago. So, I spent election day knocking on doors and reminding people to get to the polls. After contributing time, money, and my vote, I do feel that I was a part of this campaign. I feel a true connection to this process.
I am relieved that the process is complete and that everything has become clear. Now, I will admit that I experienced two feelings the minute that NBC News declared the winner: proud celebration and a fearful unsureness. The latter sprung up in me as I thought about all the challenges that Obama will have to face. I am nervous about where the USA stands in the global society. Our problems seem far too numerous, both abroad and at home. Can this man really bring together the great minds of our nation and pull us out of our troublesome state? It is hard to be sure of the future. I had supported Obama from very early on, but I had resolved to maintain a level head and avoid falling for Obama's celebrity hype. He had to prove himself to me...which he did. However, I still saw those challenges and wondered.
Then he gave his acceptance speech.....
Obama said exactly what I needed to hear. I still see those challenges. They are ever looming over our nation. Yet, my reaction has changed. I am no longer fearful...I have confidence. Where once things were extremely unsure, I see opportunity. We must take a good look at where our nation stands and what we must change. Then we, the American people, must take it on. This is our nation and our responsibility. President Obama will make huge steps, but he is counting on the joint efforts of a united nation to back him up.
That was perhaps my favorite sentiment: We are the United States. For too long now, this nation has felt divided. We have let our differences of opinion drive us apart. Instead of encouraging dialogue and understanding, we have bred hate and division. The American spirit must be rekindled within all of us. We must realize that our diversity and disagreements are our greatest assets. We could accomplish so much by working together and realizing our commonalities. I loved this part of his speech. The nation has decided and now the nation must step up as a collective whole. We may have bickered during the campaign, but now we must move on. We must put aside our affiliations and other dividing qualifications. Come together. Many as one.
I listened to Obama's words and ran these thoughts through my mind. As I tried to focus them all, I noticed how intensely my parents watched. My father said, "I don't think the boys get how big this is as much as we do." This comment was made even clearer by Obama's story of an American voter who had lived for over 100 years. He traced the timeline of her life and what she witnessed. It was truly incredible to picture all that had occurred and changed.
Then he laid out a challenge. What change and advancements will appear in the the next 100 years.
We must connect with each other and unite behind our country. It will be difficult, but these are the challenges that the American spirit was created to overcome. I truly believe that our nation can not only re-stabilize itself, but also advance and grow.
Here's to the next four years...let's see what we can accomplish.
I am proud to say that I supported his candidacy and even volunteered for his campaign. I voted early nearly two weeks ago. So, I spent election day knocking on doors and reminding people to get to the polls. After contributing time, money, and my vote, I do feel that I was a part of this campaign. I feel a true connection to this process.
I am relieved that the process is complete and that everything has become clear. Now, I will admit that I experienced two feelings the minute that NBC News declared the winner: proud celebration and a fearful unsureness. The latter sprung up in me as I thought about all the challenges that Obama will have to face. I am nervous about where the USA stands in the global society. Our problems seem far too numerous, both abroad and at home. Can this man really bring together the great minds of our nation and pull us out of our troublesome state? It is hard to be sure of the future. I had supported Obama from very early on, but I had resolved to maintain a level head and avoid falling for Obama's celebrity hype. He had to prove himself to me...which he did. However, I still saw those challenges and wondered.
Then he gave his acceptance speech.....
Obama said exactly what I needed to hear. I still see those challenges. They are ever looming over our nation. Yet, my reaction has changed. I am no longer fearful...I have confidence. Where once things were extremely unsure, I see opportunity. We must take a good look at where our nation stands and what we must change. Then we, the American people, must take it on. This is our nation and our responsibility. President Obama will make huge steps, but he is counting on the joint efforts of a united nation to back him up.
That was perhaps my favorite sentiment: We are the United States. For too long now, this nation has felt divided. We have let our differences of opinion drive us apart. Instead of encouraging dialogue and understanding, we have bred hate and division. The American spirit must be rekindled within all of us. We must realize that our diversity and disagreements are our greatest assets. We could accomplish so much by working together and realizing our commonalities. I loved this part of his speech. The nation has decided and now the nation must step up as a collective whole. We may have bickered during the campaign, but now we must move on. We must put aside our affiliations and other dividing qualifications. Come together. Many as one.
I listened to Obama's words and ran these thoughts through my mind. As I tried to focus them all, I noticed how intensely my parents watched. My father said, "I don't think the boys get how big this is as much as we do." This comment was made even clearer by Obama's story of an American voter who had lived for over 100 years. He traced the timeline of her life and what she witnessed. It was truly incredible to picture all that had occurred and changed.
Then he laid out a challenge. What change and advancements will appear in the the next 100 years.
We must connect with each other and unite behind our country. It will be difficult, but these are the challenges that the American spirit was created to overcome. I truly believe that our nation can not only re-stabilize itself, but also advance and grow.
Here's to the next four years...let's see what we can accomplish.
Meager Beginnings...
Despite my best efforts of procrastination, I have finally entered this online world of scribes to offer up my own views and experiences.
Also, you will note that I plan on tracing that path rather than finding or frantically searching for it. I firmly believe that we all are tracing our own unique paths all the time. We glide fairly gracefully through this unknown cloud of potential chaos. No, we cannot see where we are headed -- only what we have already traced. This is why we long to hold onto memories and relive what we have already traced. It is safe....we know that part of our path. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) there is no reverse in life. So, we push on. Over, around, and through whatever lies in our path.
Thrilling roller coaster ride? Terrifying uncontrolled flight through time? Mundane coasting through uninteresting territory?
Make what you will of it.
Second, the purpose: Why blog?
Short answer: Don't have a good reason. Mostly for my own benefit, I suppose.
I had planned to begin writing a blog to keep my loved ones posted on whatever my next big adventure was to be! But, again-->ambiguous chaos! Most of my plans fell through and I have settled down into a rather mundane, yet peaceful situation. (More on where I am and what happened to those exciting plans to come! Stay tuned!)
So, I decided that I would document my current, rather large undertaking: life.
My own personal dealings with grief, my heroic pursuit of happiness, my noble attempts to expand my mind, and every other event that I can play up with some fancy words!
This will be my outlet for self expression. I love to write. Assembling words in some order for the intended purpose of capturing everything that is running through my imagination and to try to document my perception of the world around.
However, this is quite enough for a first entry. I may have to adjust the title of this post if I keep writing!
Today, November 4th, 2008, is a great day to start something new. Election day. On this day, I share something in common with the entire nation: A strong feeling of unsureness and an eagerness to glimpse what the future holds.
Here we go...
First, addressing the title: Tracing A Unique Path Within Ambiguous Chaos
This may sound quite negative at first. I mean, ambiguous chaos? Chaos alone is frightening, but a chaos that is ambiguous?! Oh dear! That is just what we need: chaos that cannot be positively identified as chaos! However, allow me to offer an alternate perspective. I say ambiguous chaos because when I evaluate the world around me I never quite arrive at a clear verdict. There are moments (for all of us i would argue) when the world seems to be just too much to handle. We get lost in the chaotic mass of events and people. We see the problems and see that they outweigh any effort that we could put forth. Sometimes, we all just feel...hopeless. However, there are also times when beauty and inspiration outweigh all that poses as chaos. We see compassion, miracles, kindness, order, and occasionally experience a fleeting moment of peace. These encounters keep me guessing! Hence...ambiguous chaos!Also, you will note that I plan on tracing that path rather than finding or frantically searching for it. I firmly believe that we all are tracing our own unique paths all the time. We glide fairly gracefully through this unknown cloud of potential chaos. No, we cannot see where we are headed -- only what we have already traced. This is why we long to hold onto memories and relive what we have already traced. It is safe....we know that part of our path. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) there is no reverse in life. So, we push on. Over, around, and through whatever lies in our path.
Thrilling roller coaster ride? Terrifying uncontrolled flight through time? Mundane coasting through uninteresting territory?
Make what you will of it.
Second, the purpose: Why blog?
Short answer: Don't have a good reason. Mostly for my own benefit, I suppose.
I had planned to begin writing a blog to keep my loved ones posted on whatever my next big adventure was to be! But, again-->ambiguous chaos! Most of my plans fell through and I have settled down into a rather mundane, yet peaceful situation. (More on where I am and what happened to those exciting plans to come! Stay tuned!)
So, I decided that I would document my current, rather large undertaking: life.
My own personal dealings with grief, my heroic pursuit of happiness, my noble attempts to expand my mind, and every other event that I can play up with some fancy words!
This will be my outlet for self expression. I love to write. Assembling words in some order for the intended purpose of capturing everything that is running through my imagination and to try to document my perception of the world around.
However, this is quite enough for a first entry. I may have to adjust the title of this post if I keep writing!
Today, November 4th, 2008, is a great day to start something new. Election day. On this day, I share something in common with the entire nation: A strong feeling of unsureness and an eagerness to glimpse what the future holds.
Here we go...
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